The Chef’s Hat
This is correspondence between my friend, printer and problem solver in Shanghai, Felix Yang, and a client of his from the US. Felix handles anything to do with conventions or trade shows and has been an incredibly helpful contact for me in that he speaks great English and is a ‘can do’ guy. He possesses a rakish sense of humor at times This is his website http://www.teabreaker.com/: Hey Dylan...
January 8th, 2012 by CJ
Extract 1 The Bazza Chronicles – First Encounter
I first noticed Barry, nicknamed Bazza, in the men’s room at the movie studio and in that confined space was immediately impressed by his size, obvious strength and pugnacious potential. He moved like an athlete and had the face of a boxer, both aspects railing against his businessman’s attire. When adorned with wrap-around sunglasses he looked almost exactly like “The Phantom” of comic book...
January 3rd, 2012 by CJ
Extract 2 The Bazza Chronicles – Boom and Bust
The Studio Head had been carrying a book around with him for many years, looking for the right screenwriter to adapt it. One day he gave it to me. I was playing a bad guy doctor at the time in a highly forgettable film starring Linda Blair. So between takes I tapped away in my dressing room for a fortnight and then presented it to him. He was very happy and told me he was allocating $65 million for...
January 3rd, 2012 by CJ
Extract 3 The Bazza Chronicles – How to make a BBQ, Part 1
After the collapse of my cinematic future I couldn’t stand living with my boarders any longer so I proceeded to build a cabin in my backyard. I knew a guy who knew a guy who worked in a Perspex factory and every week big sheets of the stuff were sent out in large pine crates. He said they just dumped the crates after use so there was a lot of good timber going to waste. I went to the factory, slipped...
January 3rd, 2012 by CJ
Extract 4 The Bazza Chronicles – How to make a BBQ, Part 2
My neighbor, Bill, was a bobcat specialist – that’s the little tractor kind of bobcat you put on the back of a truck and drive to different locations to do small earthmoving jobs. He was an annoying but well intentioned sort of guy, annoying because he was one of those strange believers in warming up vehicles like you warm up athletes before exertion – he would start up his truck at 6 a.m....
January 3rd, 2012 by CJ
Extract 5 The Bazza Chronicles – How to make a BBQ, Part 3
…So I was going to steal these bricks for the bar-b-q. I set my alarm for 2 a.m., certain that at that hour my crime would go undetected. My girlfriend called me an idiot as I went out the door, both for my plan and for waking her, but I got out my old Volkswagen beetle and drove to the far side of the national park. I pulled up alongside a fresh laid concrete slab and a sign that read ‘Electricity...
January 3rd, 2012 by CJ
Extract 6 The Bazza Chronicles – Bringing Down the House
As in realms of old when the King or Queen died or was otherwise replaced, so too was that leader’s court, reason being that when such weighty authority was in play the level of trust in underlings had to be high. So Bazza, along with many other studio execs, lost his job when the new studio head took office. I didn’t lose my job as I never really had one. I was contracted with a handshake movie...
January 3rd, 2012 by CJ
Extract 7 The Bazza Chronicles – To Catch A Thief
About three months after the insurance company paid up Bazza asked if I’d like to ‘come for a drive’ and pick up his ‘household’ belongings. I said, sure, why not, I was a self-confessed slow-learner and liked him as a friend and thought that a long trip and a favor might still garner a reasonable hearing about making movies together. I’d have him trapped in the car for a good forty-eight...
January 3rd, 2012 by CJ
Lulworth Cove, England
Emma arrived in KJ’s old car, now belonging to Emma, one of many links to their common history. From KJ’s references to Emma I was expecting a petite flower but instead was hoisted off the ground in a gushing bear hug and could not help admiring her swimmer’s shoulders. KJ had found me at Heathrow, beating up a public telephone. I purchased a phone card and after punching in pi to the 15th power...
January 2nd, 2012 by CJ
Sweden
Perry did not speak English. He was a German in his early forties with an open and friendly face, balding, and driving a beat up Volvo station wagon. He had been dispatched to the airport at Goteborg by Steve, KJ’s brother, to pick us up for the one and a half hour drive back to Ambjornarp, a village that gave its name to the local area where we were to stay. Luckily Perry had decided to bring along...
January 1st, 2012 by CJ
